The little tiny child.

Christmas time is always pictured as joyful and fun and it really can be, especially with children.

This week I have been contemplating baby Jesus and how such an important person was born in such a humble way. Actually, its sad if you think about it, any precious baby being born in a barn with animals all around, laid down in a manger, where the animals eat, with only rags all around him. I went to a living Nativity and it looked so real, I can't put into words how shocking that image was to me.

We hear it in songs and it sounds so charming & normal to us after all these years, but here is the Messiah: who will be the first person to ever die and come back and report to us that we are all going to be OK in heaven with Him, the only person to never do anything wrong in his life--- and he is born into such a chaotic situation. His family is not where they want to be, nobody cares about them in the town where they have to be counted, and in the days after the birth, when it should be nothing but happiness & celebration, they have to run away because all baby boys have been ordered to be killed by the King. Imagine how horrible you'd feel if hundreds of mothers were grieving the loss of their new babies---all because the government was looking for your baby boy.

Every Christmas I get caught up in one Christmas carol more than the others, and I keep hearing the Coventry Carol this year and I love it, its so beautiful and old & powerful.

"Lully, lulla, thou little tiny child
By by, lully, lullay, thou little tiny child
By by, lully lullay


O sisters too, how may we do
For to preserve this day
This poor youngling
For whom we do sing
By by, lully lullay?


Herod, the king
In his raging
Chargèd he hath this day
His men of might
In his own sight,
All young children to slay


That woe is me
Poor child for thee!
And ever morn and day,
For thy parting
Neither say nor sing
By by, lully lullay!"

Nature Table

Its part end of fall, part beginning of Advent.

Papi

Things I hide

My friendly neighbor and I were out for a brisk walk earlier and I told her about things I hide at stores. She thinks I should openly share them on here, maybe I could create a small army of people who hide the same things, ha ha! She also said I have issues...
If I'm in Target or a Borders or something I will hide Jenny McCarthy's book about having babies. Its got to be the most asinine baby book out there. Just the back cover is disturbing enough. I feel for her as a mom of an autistic son and I think she's doing a fantastic job of being real about autism and promoting natural healing..but her baby book is disparaging of all that is normal and natural & it sux.

I will hide "On Becoming Babywise". It has led to several infant deaths from failure to thrive because of its ridiculously BAD breastfeeding info. It goes behind really boring books so new moms can't find it.

If I'm in the dollar store and I happen upon a selection of douches, I hide the hell out of them. Nobody should ever douche, pelvic inflammatory disease is a nightmare that is caused by douching, its right on the label. Self cleaning body parts should be left alone, so those gnarly things get hidden too.

Does this sound like I have issues or what? I'm just trying to keep the world a safe place for babies and women! :)

Thanksgiving weekend. I'm the baby and I don't walk or talk, but I can climb into a silver bowl!





The best hostess in the world, My Mama. She makes the perfect Thanksgiving, so magical and homey. We usually have more family there, but it was just my parents, grandmother, brothers & my little family. Still, my mom & dad make it special, from starting with champagne and nuts to the coffee and pumpkin pie, or pecan or apple...



watching the weather change from warm to cold. I guess fall is finally over now.

I'm not the only one who thinks Japan sucks

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20071119/ts_afp/japanwhaling
sorry, my links don't work, is time to cut & paste. But, the whaling ships are on their way to Antarctica by way of Australia & past New Zealand. They have turned off all of their tracking devices. A few different groups are on their way to intercede. I blame the impotent International Whaling Commission for allowing a loophole called "lethal research" What a bunch of idiots. In the book "the Empty Ocean", Japan makes it very clear that they are fine with killing every whale in the world and not leaving any in the ocean, b/c it benefits Japan economically.

I'm there...

Its been a trying week, lots of ups and downs. 2 more hectic days and then I can chill and look forward to Thanksgiving. For now, I'll picture myself here in the hot Key West sun.

Japan is not cool http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071116/ap_on_re_as/japan_hunting_humpbacks

I swear I think happy thoughts, but another negative post has to be made.

Japan put out an arrest warrant this week for this young actress from Heroes because she got in the water and went up to a boat that was killing dolphins. Japan swore that they don't hurt dolphins and that their fisheries are so economically important and they are pissed off that people bother them when they are working so hard fishing/wasting.

Then today they decide its time to go back out and kill whales again. I hate what Japan does. They go out and kill hundreds of whales for "scientific" reasons and then they sell the whale meat & make a huge profit. Whales are so amazing to me, so awe inspiring to see, the biggest creatures on the planet are also the most graceful. Japan is going to kill 900+ Minke whales & more than 50 humpbacks. And nobody can stop them, they just violate the protection orders. And when they go up against the International Whaling Commission they ask a bunch of poor & land locked nations to agree with then that whaling is awesome. This quote from the whaling chief, Mr Moronuki blows me away: "Killing whales allows marine biologists to study their internal organs. Ovaries provide vital clues to reproductive systems, earwax indicates age, and stomach contents reveal eating habits, he said. Uh, Mr.Wizard, the insides of whales have already been studied, and it only takes 1 whale, not 1000. And why do we need to kill whales and study them anyway? They are in their world & we are in ours. Just leave them alone.

Australia is awesome http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,22741465-421,00.html

When I was 13 and I had nothing better to do, I spent my free time loving all things Australian. All of my favorite music was Aussie, especially INXS. I loved the landscape and the history, even though its filled with bad things, like ours. I got so I could tell accents apart. I went to the Embassy just to see it. I've never been down to the actual country, but I hope one day to get the nerve (& $$$) to go that far on a plane. Then today I read that they have banned routine circumcision of newborn boys in their hospitals. Yes! They are awesome. Lots of happy, whole little guys will be coming home there, with much less risk of MRSA too. Hopefully the US will soon be as enlightened as Australia (and Europe, South America, Asia, England, Canada...)

Giving birth with dolphins?

Now this is when you know somebody has way too much time on their hands, when they ponder birthing with dolphins. On a message board I go to sometimes a mom asked if anyone knew where she could give birth with dolphins. To me that sounds like something you might do in a dream, at night in your bed---not seek out in real life. Once I dreamed that I gave birth to twin girls in the ocean, they both swam up to the surface and we looked at each other & then I woke up. It was cool, but if I was a low risk mama I still wouldn't go out of way to be out in the ocean for birth. The water is rarely a great temp and the sun would be annoying. But it is real, there is a way, for those far out birthing chicks: http://www.planetpuna.com/Birth&Dolphins/index.htm

www.thedailygreen.com/environmental-news/latest/500-not-made-in-china-50110507

The toy recalls are getting ridiculous. Luckily, my kids don't have many of these things, but its still hard to explain to a kid that he can't play with aqua dots because they are poison. (& turn into the date rape drug if a kid ingests one:O ) I'm happy some people are keeping lists of safe toys. If I could afford it I would just buy adorable Haba toys for the kids, but here's the list:

Out and about

I've been in a rut with the kids this week. Both of the older 2 had school conferences that could have been better & both are pretty intense and challenging in their own ways. Last night I was about to lose my mind. Being a stay at home mama is weird & sometimes hard because there are no real breaks, at least not in my world. I don't leave the baby, although I do plan on doing that soon, for a date with my husband or a breastfeeding meeting. The older 2 are in school, but preschool is just 3 mornings a week & the adorable Creature is my biggest challenge right now.

So... I wanted to escape by myself & hop on a plane to Miami & drive to Key West and lay down on a hammock with a margarita for a week. But... that's not going to happen, and I still have to come back & face the music.:)


Since Catholic school is off today we all went out in the rain to the Natural History museum. Not a huge undertaking, but it was really fun & helped me reconnect with the guys and appreciate my vocation. I am blessed to be able to be with them and I know that instead of running away from the kids it helps me to get closer to them. It was a short little trip to the city, but so worthwhile. Seeing them freely explore and get so excited about every little thing was wonderful.

From People.com, Billboard Shocker: Eagles Beat Britney!

Yes! My boys album is on top and I'm not surprised, I love the Eagles too much.

Biaxin, you're such a bitch

I have been taking an antibiotic called Biaxin for a recurring sinus infection and unfortunately it has to be for 3 weeks. It has the unbelivably horrible side effect of making me feel extremely hungry 24 hours a day. It honestly makes no difference what I eat, or how much. Its like a unique circle of hell because I don't even have enough food in my house that could end this endless hunger. I don't deal with hunger well, it makes me lazy, mad, mean & just unhappy. I love food, so normally I'm OK, but this might drive me completely insane in the next week and a half I have left with this nightmare. I dread seeing a scale after this drug is gone. Good thing I don't own one.

I need to be folding laundry but instead I came down to the computer and ate ice cream after my dinner of 2 helpings of roasted chicken with homemade (by my man) gravy. I looked up "causes of feeling hungry all the time" and this popped up on Yahoo answers, " If you are on any sort of medication, it could be affecting how hungry you feel. The antibiotic Biaxin makes me feel ravenously hungry the whole time I take it."

Yes! I'm not alone, its not in my head, I am truly starving & I hate life, but someone else felt the same way, yay! Never again, I need to finish this dose so I don't turn all resistant, but no more Biaxin!

OK. just shoot me. I was going to go to bed & then I looked up one more thing, the actual side effects of this hateful drug. I found "increased hunger" deep in the list, but look at all the fun stuff I can look forward to if I am lucky enough to get all the stuff listed before increased hunger, "confusion about identity, place, and time; cool pale skin; dark urine; depression; difficulty swallowing; dizziness; fainting; fast, pounding, or irregular heartbeat or pulse; feeling of unreality; feeling that others are watching you or controlling your behavior; feeling that others can hear your thoughts; feeling, seeing, or hearing things that are not there; hives; increased hunger;"

Scary..

aaaachooo!




Probably the last enjoyable winery weather day before spring & we headed back to our new favorite vineyard. Except for the extremely annoying dogs, it was perfect.

Trick or Treating is awesome!

My morbid boys love this holiday so much and last night was great. Living in a townhouse means tons of houses and then time for adults to hang out while kids sort.

Thoughts on "Pumping & Dumping"

Its very simple, a pump is complicated. Tubing, those tippy little bottles, that annoying sound, getting it all set up is a pain in the butt on a good day. If you are drinking and you have the wherewithall to set up your pump, then in my opinion, you are fine to actually breastfeed. If you are totally falling down drunk (and few moms can get to this point) then drink a bunch of water and go to bed. You can nurse in a few hours. If you are totally unable to take care of baby, then your partner can feed a bottle of whatever to baby in the middle of the night. I don't think there's ever really a time or place for pumping & dumping milk. I've been nursing for basically 8 straight years and haven't ever done it & don't plan on ever doing it.

Our old neighbors have an annual Halloween bash that is totally geared for the 12 and under set. They do an unbelievable job with food, gross out games & scary games. Grown ups have fun too! Little children are encouraged to sing karaoke. Even though my boys haven't seen the Spiderman movie, they feel in love with their costumes at Target. 2 observations: all little girls dressed like princesses or queens. I'll have to see if thats also the case on real Halloween. Also, I think Hugh Hefner has taken over this holiday, because the only costumes for adult women resemble the cheesiest "ho-wear" I've seen. It was sad watching these poor teenage girls at the costume shop try to decide which raunchy outfit they might feel OK wearing. My kids wanted us to dress up, so we went all peasanty, from the princessy era. I think the box said "tavern wench" on mine.:)

Babywearing

Getting stuff done the old fashioned way since 2000.

Today I went to the post office to mail a package to my beloved cousin and I had 2 boys in school and my littlest guy on my hip in a sling. The lady at the counter said, "Oh, I see more ladies carrying their baby that way these days!" Then she turned to the guy next to her and said, "That's that new stuff." We were all joking around for a minute and then I said, " Actually , its that really old stuff." She was like, " Oh yeah, in Africa women do carry their babies all day and they really don't cry."
Yup!

I was always fascinated by babywearing. My friendly neighbor calls it "my passion and my fashion." I did it long before I knew what the hell I was doing. My slings were all twisty and crazy, but I was trekking without any encumbrances. I was free and my baby was free to be, with me. With older kids, I have to have my hands free & I have to be able to respond quickly to the baby. The closeness is the design for human babies, born helpless and missing the womb. When My first boy was a baby the Sacajawea dollar came out and here was my ideal woman on a coin for the world to admire. Beautiful and peaceful, the baby and the mama. An adorable little face sleeping on his moms shoulder, while she did work! That Native ideal and African and Asian mamas inspired me. I never miss a chance to wear the baby, I love the feeling of closeness, I love how settled and content it makes the little ones and I love the extra exercise I get. I do get some crazy looks, especially as this guy is nearing 30 lbs, but I don't care. Its worth it.

Pumpkin Patchness

Rowing in the bay on Sunday morning was such a treat. The same bald eagle pair would come by each day too and I caught one of them on film, although he looks tiny, in real life you could see how immense these 2 eagles were compared to the other birds near them. And here's a picture of Teeny & his godmother and I didn't even know she was there when I took his picture. Kind of cool :)

The last morning and goofy brunch

Evening at camp

Thank you B!

The Godmother of the littlest guy has access to a summer camp thanks to her job as a public servant and she was kind enough to invite us to spend the weekend at this gorgeous spot at the end of our state, on the Chesapeake bay. The weather was ridiculous, the kids got along and we had a lot of unhealthy food and drink. It was a real gift to get away so completely in October.

Normally my spouse works daytime hours for 6 weeks straight & then he works 4 weeks of nights, 6 pm to 6 am. As I muddle through each day without much help I try to think of all the ladies who have husbands in Iraq or Afghanistan, some of their husbands will never come home. Thankfully, mine does come home each morning but it is a brutal schedule on all of us. He sleeps all day and works all night.By the second week it gets rough. I start to lose my patience with my older 2, helping my second grader with his homework can drive us both to tears if I let it. Last night I was up about half the night and everything seems extra hard right now . What got me through the night was knowing that it was his last night of nights, what really sucked is that this time they made him work an extra weekof nights, so this was week 5. I found out this morning they need him tonight too. I want to go on vacation and drink heavily, but that's not healthy so I'll probably strap on my big baby and walk in the woods to clear my head and go face the music all over again.

October, month of Mary

http://www.setonshrine.org/

That albino pumpkin won't leave me alone!

Blogger, you are acting like a butt again, not letting me post photos.

Since I can't put shameless pics of my little sweeties up here, I'll share a couple of things. Its been a very hectic October so far, way too many events, no time to stop and appreciate the leaves. This weekend we are going away, to celebrate the MAN of the house's birthday. I am very excited! We are going with good friends and with kids & it should be fun.

At my breastfeeding meeting tonight I was looking at the sign up sheet and I noticed these babies have some cool names. All of the babies looked fabulously cute and well loved, it is worth the trek each month to see these awesome babies & new parents figuring it all out. Here's the names: Marcello, Leonie, Killian, Aleksander, Siara & Wolfe! There were many, many more names, but they were all fairly normal. I have 2 normal names for my kids and 2 less normal. I like these bold names.

Always thinking of my boy who is not here...

From a great blog, http://ingliseast.typepad.com/ingliseast/
She describes losing a child so well;

"It is unfair that I am his mama, yet I don't know where he's gone. I'm supposed to know these things. I want to know why he couldn't stay, why he was ever hurt in the first place despite what should have been the refuge of my body.
It's not only his absence that aches. It's the knowing that his absence will never make sense."

Boyz on the hammock

More winery wonderland

The dog that would not leave!
Lushness
Baby on blanket with bro & wine
Sweet little river
Log cabin for kids