Monday, November 28, 2005

Absolutely nothing exciting or new to say right now. I`m just wasting time here on the net while schoolboy is at school and Papi & the Creature are sleeping. The little wild Muffin is really challenging me lately, all of my patience and calmness are being tested. Unfortunately they failed. I am not smacking the little animal or anything, but I am not being too cool and I am trying to get back to a happy place with the small boy. He can`t help being 2, it must suck, but does he have to freak out about every single thing all day long? I am going to work on getting him out in the world every day, that`s what worked with his schooly brother.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Spanking children fuels aggression, anxiety

this is news? this is common sense. If parenting is teaching through modeling, then at the very least spanking teaches bullying. A big person hitting a small person is just wrong.

By Megan Rauscher
2 hours, 23 minutes ago

NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - Children who are spanked when they misbehave are more likely to be anxious and aggressive than children who are disciplined in nonphysical ways, research shows. This is true even if spanking is the "cultural norm."

Whether parents should spank their children or use other forms of physical discipline is controversial. Some experts argue that children should not be spanked when they act out citing evidence that it leads to more, rather than fewer, behavior problems and it could escalate into physical abuse. There are data to support this argument.
Other experts, however, argue that the effects of spanking and physical discipline might depend on the characteristics of the child and family and the circumstances in which it is used.

To investigate the latter theory, researchers from questioned 336 mothers and their children in China, India, Italy, Kenya, the Philippines, and Thailand about cultural norms surrounding use of physical discipline and how it affected their children's behavior.

Jennifer Lansford, a research scientist from the Center for Child and Family Policy at Duke University spearheaded the survey. She told Reuters Health that "across the six countries studied, children who were physically disciplined more frequently were more aggressive and anxious than were children who were physically disciplined less frequently."

"However, in countries where the use of physical discipline was more common, being physically disciplined more frequently was not related as strongly to aggression and anxiety as it was in countries where physical discipline was less frequently used," she said.

Not surprisingly, in Thailand, a country where peace-promoting Buddhist teachings predominant, moms were least likely to spank their children or use other forms of physical discipline.

In Kenya, on the other hand, where use of physical discipline is common and considered normal for the most part, moms were most likely to spank or engage in similar disciplinary tactics. In a study conducted in Kenya in 2003, 57 percent of grandmothers reported caning, pinching, slapping, tying with a rope, hitting, beating, and kicking as forms of discipline they had used on their grandchildren.

One question the findings raise, according to Lansford, is whether being physically disciplined more frequently causes an increase in aggression and anxiety or whether children who are already aggressive and anxious are simply physically disciplined more often. "On the basis of other work conducted in the United States, the answer is probably some of each," Lansford said.

"Another question is whether physical discipline is appropriate in this day and age, regardless of how accepted it may be," she added.

SOURCE: Child Development, November/December 2005.

Friday, November 18, 2005

My son with Barney, his class bear. He had Barney here for a week and had to write about him, draw him, and take him on adventures.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Went to the Botanical Gardens today with a mama I like very much and her darling 3 year old girl. Of course the Creature was in full effect and conversely his schoolboy brother was perfectly behaved. Anyway, we got lucky with a parking space right around the corner and went in to see all the plants and breathe all the oxygen.

This first picture is the biggest flower in the world, its literally like 4 feet tall. It is beginning to bloom right now and should be done by Thanksgiving. It only blooms every couple of years and supposedly it smells like rotten trash and gnarly meat. Today it didn`t smell like much, but the second picture is how it will look next week. I love life when it has weird stuff like this in it.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Monday, November 14, 2005

I have to give the credit to this photo to Xsquiggy at ADVrider. He took it, I`ve never met him, I just randomly found it, but it shows exactly how beautiful Virginia is. We had the best day at Farfelu Winery this weekend, 70 degrees and sunny in November, with close friends, eating, drinking wine and listening to 70`s tunes sung by a Jackson Browne clone. Not everybody liked the music as much as me, I love the Eagles so much!

It was the kind of day I needed to get through the next week. Both the husband and I found out we have permanent sinus infections that won`t leave, so we need mad antibiotics for a long, long, long , long time. I have to lead the breastfeeding meeting tomorrow and help the ladies and stay very alert for a long long time. Then on Saturday, more of my favorite, public speaking to strangers. Can't wait!

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Everybody has new haircuts!
It`s a brisk day around here and the Creature and I went to the kindergarten and helped serve Thanksgiving dinner to a million 5 year olds. It was a lot of fun. more later....

Saturday, November 05, 2005

This should give you some idea of how cocktail hour(s) was last night. Its all a blur! Actually, noone was intoxicated, it was just very fun.

Friday, November 04, 2005

Yay! Friday.

Yes, life has improved. Now nobody is sick and its a beautiful day. I spent my kindergarten morning time shopping with the Creature. I went to Old Navy, as usual I found it to be a diappointing and bland place. Why do I bother? Oh because I must have seen the commercial for "boy cut" jeans over 600 times last night as I watched that damn ER again. Anyway, the jeans are the biggest waste of denim, they are $10 more than the price the TV said and they are not cut for boys unless the boy is a plumber who really lives up to the plumber stereotype. Everything looks messy in Old Navy, all of it looks like crappy versions of something nicer you`ve seen somewhere else.And nobody helps you. OK, enough ranting about that store. Back to the good things,
like our neighborhood cocktail hour! I must clean and get ready for socializing and kids all over the place. Secret photos of the friendly neighbors later...

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

It`s not all fun & games

Last night was another fabulous Halloween. 4 boys trick or treated in a close friend`s cozy U shaped neighborhood. The Creature didn`t want to walk so his mama carried him from house to house. The boys had so much fun and they all looked fabulous. Grandparents were there too, it was the best! My friend had her house looking beautifully Halloweeny and very welcoming. She`s one of the proud few in our generation that loves to entertain and have fun at any time.

Now today on the other hand really SUCKS!! I woke up with a hideous sinus infection that turned my eyes a nice shade of blood red. Really cute. So I broke down and took an antibiotic that made me so sick to my stomach. I know I`m trying to keep it positive, but I'm barely alive right now. Hopefully tomorrow will be back to life as we know it in the Shire.

About Me

My photo
I'm just a mom in the world. A crunchy Catholic mama of 6 trying to make sense of it all and stay positive. 5 boys here & 1 in heaven. One awesome man who I get to grow old with. I help new moms breastfeed. I`m happy. I don`t go to shows or dance clubs every night but I would if I could. Where`s the nanny? When I see her she`s SO fired! One of my boys is super sweet and sensitive, another one is a holy terror. I learn a ton from all of them daily. Like Nigella says, as any parent of small children knows,there comes a point in the day where you can`t go any further without a drink! I love cocktail hour. I`d like nothing more than to be with my family and some good friends surrounded by tropical plants drinking a margarita listening to the Eagles. I don`t care about trendy, I like that grungy 70`s vibe.