For the 3rd year in a row we went to the fair! I really wanted to go b/c Naughty by Nature (among other "old skool all stars") was going to be playing & they are a lot of fun & I always had a crush on Treach. So we went, with all the kids, my brother & Ramsay's godparents. It was easier than I imagined b/c little guy slept the whole time, only waking up to eat at the end. Naughty by NAture was awesome, but the kids hated it. I always say there's no such thing as too much bass, but I think I heard too much bass, it was really thumping! My friend Jen said it sounded like the space shuttle being launched!
The big boy holding Joaquin in the pics is the teenage son of Ramsay's godparents, my boys love him. Joaquin is the only one who would go on rides, my other boys wouldn't ride a thing, they just wanted to eat fair food & people watch :)

In the first 2 weeks after giving birth, most women's emotions are all over the place. In fact I have never met anyone that hasn't had pretty extreme ups and downs in the first extremely hormonal weeks. And I talk to LOTS of mamas. This time, for me, the situation of adjusting to Ramsay was complicated by the fact that my due date was almost the same as Alistair's. Of all pregnancies to have to "do over" timeline-wise, it was very hard for it be that one, the one that ended in tragedy and changed our lives forever.

Maybe that's why I had all the drama of the kidney stone during the 2nd trimester & all the hell that went with it. Maybe I didn't properly face the pain and so I had to suffer physically, although I doubt it. I faced that pain pretty well and still do. I still worry all the time about the next kidney attack. But...back to the present moment. I have a healthy baby who is adorable and awesome. I have survived a huge surgery (for the 3rd time) that used to be a last ditch effort when a laboring mom was dying.

In the 1st 2 weeks I lamented the fact that I have to have C sections, the reason I have to is because my son died during a natural birth. It is horrible, but then I had no choice but to be positive about it. I am here, still, and I do need surgery, but I set goals to get through it & I made all my goals. Cath & Iv out first thing in the morning after surgery, in the shower that 1st morning too. All drugs out of my system before 2 weeks. And leading my breastfeeding support group at 4 weeks out. I made it and I'm very grateful. And all of my boys, including my precious Alistair in heaven, have a new brother, who is also unique and unrepeatable.

Ramsay is one month old now and its been busy! This C section recovery has been good, but harder than the others. At 3 weeks postpartum I felt MUCH better and its been good since then, he eats constantly when he is awake & sleeps deeply and for a long time when he's asleep. Its tough with 4 boys but getting easier each day.

Ramsay Kieran is here!

My sweet mellow little boy was born on April 16th at 8:09 am . He weighed 8 lbs 7 oz & it was a very smooth and fast C section. I think something was added to my IV b/c I was feeling more out of it during this birth than with the last 2. And I am dealing with some typical post surgical pain, but ... its nothing compared to kidney stones!!
I am just so thankful that we made it to 39 weeks and that he is healthy and strong. He is already pretty good at holding his head up. Today he smiled at me too!