Last night before bed I talked to my youngest brother, who is getting married on the last day of this month. The husband and I are in the wedding and that should be interesting with my parents watching the kids. So, my brother is getting married to a beautiful and nice young woman and we are so excited for both of them. He was dealing with some last minute logistics yesterday and I was trying to help him relax about the details.
I remember the last month before our wedding, the details were overwhelming, I can handle a lot of stress, but between my job as a commercial property manager and the wedding, which was not small, I had to get a prescription for Ativan. But I read the package insert and it scared me so I only took it twice.
So, last night, I think my brother slept well ( I hope) and all the stress transferred to me. First I dreamed we were in 2 cars and his bride was in her dress in our car, and she was driving. She had cut her hair off, but it looked really good on her. She looked super tall and elegant in her dress. We kept telling her where to park & finally we found a spot next to the church. Meanwhile, my brother is in the other car & my mom keeps telling him not to look at his bride before the wedding.
The alarm went off, but I went right back to sleep and into the next dream, this time we are staying at huge high rise hotel and the church is inside of another huge high rise across the street. I am now in my bridesmaid dress and it doesn't look too bad, which is good news b/c I lose my family and spend hours walking between the 2 hotels looking for the church. I am just wandering in the dress and the silver shoes I ordered to wear with it never arrived so I am barefoot & looking for shoes. I walk into an OR and there is a surgery going on that is very disturbing, so I leave and keep looking for the wedding. I am so embarrassed that they are holding the wedding off until they find me & then I find everyone, all the other bridesmaids and my mom & my kids are in a room putting their dresses on.
In reality, we are very excited about the wedding. In my dream it brought a tear to my eye to see my baby brother getting married, it will probably be the same in real life. He was my wild baby brother, he never wanted to cuddle & be held, he was on the move the minute he could move. When he came home from the hospital my mom put his carseat on the dining room table & my parents went into the kitchen. My other brother and I just stared at the little guy, he was so new & different, we were 11 & 7 when he was born. Our baby brother didn't even look like a newborn, he was over 11 lbs and he just stared right back at us. He didn't look much like us either, blonder and more like my mom. Its hard to describe, but I'll never forget the first sight of him. I learned to do so much for him that my mom stopped hiring babysitters. We had parents that were kind of over the baby stage, which worked out well because he was kind of over being a baby, right from the start.
I could say a lot more about him, but I just think of him as a baby, our family baby, and now, a grown ass man getting married, its so cool!
- I'm just a mom in the world. A crunchy Catholic mama of 6 trying to make sense of it all and stay positive. 5 boys here & 1 in heaven. One awesome man who I get to grow old with. I help new moms breastfeed. I`m happy. I don`t go to shows or dance clubs every night but I would if I could. Where`s the nanny? When I see her she`s SO fired! One of my boys is super sweet and sensitive, another one is a holy terror. I learn a ton from all of them daily. Like Nigella says, as any parent of small children knows,there comes a point in the day where you can`t go any further without a drink! I love cocktail hour. I`d like nothing more than to be with my family and some good friends surrounded by tropical plants drinking a margarita listening to the Eagles. I don`t care about trendy, I like that grungy 70`s vibe.