Sunday, August 26, 2007
Why I'm Catholic
I was raised Catholic, I was confirmed at 13 and all the normal stuff. At 15, when I got my first job I stopped going to church because I worked on Sunday. I didn't have any use for any church for 10 years. 2 things brought me back to church, the amazing movie "The Last Temptation of Christ" and the break up and getting back together with the love of my life, my husband. I needed more help, I was doing it all alone & love especially was very scary to face for me. I went to church slowly, to big anonymous churches where weird things happened that made me feel like I was in the right place. I love the darkness of the Catholic faith, I love the reality of it. Bad things do happen, suffering happens to all of us. I love that anywhere in the world where there is a Mass being said, its the same order as every Mass everywhere.I followed my instincts & I kept going. I thought I had it all figured out and I prayed, meditated, said rosaries. Then my second son was born & died when he was 7 weeks old. I had a crisis of faith on top of just grief, but I still went to church. I still have a hard time with the rosary, but I consider myself Catholic in the Walker Percy way, thinking, living & just being. The most powerful Catholic influence I felt as a child was guilt. As an adult I find the biggest influence is love.
- I'm just a mom in the world. A crunchy Catholic mama of 6 trying to make sense of it all and stay positive. 5 boys here & 1 in heaven. One awesome man who I get to grow old with. I help new moms breastfeed. I`m happy. I don`t go to shows or dance clubs every night but I would if I could. Where`s the nanny? When I see her she`s SO fired! One of my boys is super sweet and sensitive, another one is a holy terror. I learn a ton from all of them daily. Like Nigella says, as any parent of small children knows,there comes a point in the day where you can`t go any further without a drink! I love cocktail hour. I`d like nothing more than to be with my family and some good friends surrounded by tropical plants drinking a margarita listening to the Eagles. I don`t care about trendy, I like that grungy 70`s vibe.