Friday, January 29, 2010

No such thing as recovery...,,20340293,00.html

This is an article about John Travolta in

John Travolta: 'We Work Hard Every Day' to Recover from Son's Death

By Jeffrey Slonim and Blane Bachelor

Friday January 29, 2010 10:20 AM EST

John Travolta and Kelly Preston

A year after the tragic death of their 16-year-old son, Jett, John Travolta and wife Kelly Preston say they "work hard every day" on healing – a message reinforced by their recent trip to deliver medics and supplies to earthquake-ravaged Haiti.

"Once you get yourself stable, then you're able to reach out again," Travolta, 55, told PEOPLE. "And I think this whole year, every day we've been working on stabilizing ourselves. And it's been successful so far."

Added Preston: "It helps to look out and be helpful to other people … that really helps."

I agree with everything the two of them said, but then, you can't really use the word "agree" when talking about grief, because everyone's grief is so unique. As for the term "recover", that word has no place in discussing the loss of a child. A child is permanent, their soul is unrepeatable, they are not lost & replaced. It isn't like a sickness or a depression you get over one day like it never happened. Whether you parent a child here or not here, you parent them for life. A mother who has lost her only child is no less a mother than one who has one living, one dead. A person can "recover" from many losses, but I think losing a child is different, you may get some acceptance, but even that comes and goes.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I really like when people are expressing their opinion and thought. So I like the way you are writing

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I'm just a mom in the world. A crunchy Catholic mama of 6 trying to make sense of it all and stay positive. 5 boys here & 1 in heaven. One awesome man who I get to grow old with. I help new moms breastfeed. I`m happy. I don`t go to shows or dance clubs every night but I would if I could. Where`s the nanny? When I see her she`s SO fired! One of my boys is super sweet and sensitive, another one is a holy terror. I learn a ton from all of them daily. Like Nigella says, as any parent of small children knows,there comes a point in the day where you can`t go any further without a drink! I love cocktail hour. I`d like nothing more than to be with my family and some good friends surrounded by tropical plants drinking a margarita listening to the Eagles. I don`t care about trendy, I like that grungy 70`s vibe.