Not much to report, its January, 4 out of 4 people here have terrible colds, its butt ugly outside, I`m nauseous all day and 2 children at Jakob`s party had diseases that are super contagious and one is extremely dangerous to unborn people. I have to wait & see if the kids and I come down with either sickness. Goody Gumdrops!This is the time of year you just slog through, what`s the point of January when there isn`t even snow?

Yay! A digital camera for Christmas!

Alistair
This boy's name is used in English. Its source is Alasdair, a Gaelic name meaning "Protector of men."

Its been a wonderful, extremely blessed Christmas for my 2 boyz. I stop & think often about their brother who`s not here, there`s an empty 3 year old size space missing from every table and gathering. I love that his name means "protector of men", I have to admit, we picked it because it sounded cool, not because of what it meant. Now that I know what it means, its so fitting, because I`m sure he watches over and protects his brothers, just like my sister watched over me when I was a kid. I feel bad because for the first time I didn`t make an ornament for him and we are not big on going to the grave because he`s just not there. So, I`ll just mention him here, because I can.

Away in a manger, no crib for a bed,
The little Lord Jesus laid down His sweet head.
The stars in the sky looked down where He lay,
The little Lord Jesus, asleep on the hay.

That is just a heartbreaking image of this precious newborn starting out life so humbly.

On Grey`s Anatomy the other night there were 2 doctors who are dating and the guy is very spiritual and also an extremely talented heart surgeon. The woman is an intern and doesn`t believe in God. The two of them were very worried about a little boy who had just had his second heart transplant and didn`t seem to be tolerating the new heart very well. The woman was freaking out and questioning everything. The guy said to her, " You know that powerlessness you feel right now? That`s why I believe in a higher power, because without God all of this (hospital life and death) would eat me up inside."

That has stuck with me all week. I continue to trust God and its a challenge, but I`ve had more experiences in my life proving there is a bigger plan than the opposite. If this life was it, how much would that suck?

You never know when you will find a good moment in an otherwise typical day. Driving to my friend`s house the other night I heard the most random U2 song in the world (thank you XM radio, thank you husband for XM radio!) Walk to the Water. It was just a perfect moment, the boyz were buckled in and happily quiet, the music was loud and after 20 years I finally see what all the fuss is about Bono. What an awesome voice because its exactly like another instrument in that song and it just proves that you can`t replace the most important instrument (IMO), the voice. INXS, dudes, what are you thinking? Michael is gone, you can`t have a new singer, you need a whole new name and everything. If Bono died, would U2 have a show to try and replace him?

Driving with the kids contained and music playing is why I love going to wineries so much, its not just the wine. Its a nice long drive and I was blessed with kids who love not-too-long car trips. Then, you get there and you find yourself in a beautiful piece of the country, a place you`d never normally see unless you have fancy Middleburg friends or something. Or you are fancy yourself. Anyway, the kids run free and we relax and eat and drink and meet new people who are also glad to have a beautiful day in the outdoors. I love it.

I sat down here with the intention to bitch about the challenges of my week, but all this positive stuff came out instead.

Its 10 o clock, do you know where the Creature is? Of course he`s awake and sitting with mama!

He`s almost 6 now, but this is my first boy and how he used to get around town with me.

Chile, so lovely. One day I hope my husband finally takes me there!

for my mom

October and November are cool, December doesn`t like me

I`m supposed to be blogging about all the fun a stay at home mama can have and it hasn`t turned out that way exactly. Yes, I still have wonderful moments of perfect joy and freedom out with the kids or just sitting and watching them play at home. I am thrilled to be with them. I can nap and I can read when I want. (But just not nap when I want) My house is cleaner than its ever been as I realize my goal of being truly domesticated. Some things are alright.

Here it is though, another Christmas with a huge challenge. I don`t even want to talk about what it is, it just sucks. Its like a flashback to 2 years ago. Everything was looking so good and now its all changed. Nobody`s sick, but I am just so sad about the latest raw deal. I hope I can look at things more positively soon.

Everything is basically out of our hands, all the time. God knows I am a simpleton, so I get extra reminders. This is why when life is good and you feel like celebrating, do it, because that record will spin the other way soon and you won`t want to party then.

Absolutely nothing exciting or new to say right now. I`m just wasting time here on the net while schoolboy is at school and Papi & the Creature are sleeping. The little wild Muffin is really challenging me lately, all of my patience and calmness are being tested. Unfortunately they failed. I am not smacking the little animal or anything, but I am not being too cool and I am trying to get back to a happy place with the small boy. He can`t help being 2, it must suck, but does he have to freak out about every single thing all day long? I am going to work on getting him out in the world every day, that`s what worked with his schooly brother.

Spanking children fuels aggression, anxiety

this is news? this is common sense. If parenting is teaching through modeling, then at the very least spanking teaches bullying. A big person hitting a small person is just wrong.

By Megan Rauscher
2 hours, 23 minutes ago



NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - Children who are spanked when they misbehave are more likely to be anxious and aggressive than children who are disciplined in nonphysical ways, research shows. This is true even if spanking is the "cultural norm."

Whether parents should spank their children or use other forms of physical discipline is controversial. Some experts argue that children should not be spanked when they act out citing evidence that it leads to more, rather than fewer, behavior problems and it could escalate into physical abuse. There are data to support this argument.
Other experts, however, argue that the effects of spanking and physical discipline might depend on the characteristics of the child and family and the circumstances in which it is used.

To investigate the latter theory, researchers from questioned 336 mothers and their children in China, India, Italy, Kenya, the Philippines, and Thailand about cultural norms surrounding use of physical discipline and how it affected their children's behavior.

Jennifer Lansford, a research scientist from the Center for Child and Family Policy at Duke University spearheaded the survey. She told Reuters Health that "across the six countries studied, children who were physically disciplined more frequently were more aggressive and anxious than were children who were physically disciplined less frequently."

"However, in countries where the use of physical discipline was more common, being physically disciplined more frequently was not related as strongly to aggression and anxiety as it was in countries where physical discipline was less frequently used," she said.

Not surprisingly, in Thailand, a country where peace-promoting Buddhist teachings predominant, moms were least likely to spank their children or use other forms of physical discipline.

In Kenya, on the other hand, where use of physical discipline is common and considered normal for the most part, moms were most likely to spank or engage in similar disciplinary tactics. In a study conducted in Kenya in 2003, 57 percent of grandmothers reported caning, pinching, slapping, tying with a rope, hitting, beating, and kicking as forms of discipline they had used on their grandchildren.

One question the findings raise, according to Lansford, is whether being physically disciplined more frequently causes an increase in aggression and anxiety or whether children who are already aggressive and anxious are simply physically disciplined more often. "On the basis of other work conducted in the United States, the answer is probably some of each," Lansford said.

"Another question is whether physical discipline is appropriate in this day and age, regardless of how accepted it may be," she added.

SOURCE: Child Development, November/December 2005.

My son with Barney, his class bear. He had Barney here for a week and had to write about him, draw him, and take him on adventures.

Went to the Botanical Gardens today with a mama I like very much and her darling 3 year old girl. Of course the Creature was in full effect and conversely his schoolboy brother was perfectly behaved. Anyway, we got lucky with a parking space right around the corner and went in to see all the plants and breathe all the oxygen.

This first picture is the biggest flower in the world, its literally like 4 feet tall. It is beginning to bloom right now and should be done by Thanksgiving. It only blooms every couple of years and supposedly it smells like rotten trash and gnarly meat. Today it didn`t smell like much, but the second picture is how it will look next week. I love life when it has weird stuff like this in it.

Many more Muffin moods after keeping mama up half the night

Sweet muffin

Thuglife

Happy wild creature

I have to give the credit to this photo to Xsquiggy at ADVrider. He took it, I`ve never met him, I just randomly found it, but it shows exactly how beautiful Virginia is. We had the best day at Farfelu Winery this weekend, 70 degrees and sunny in November, with close friends, eating, drinking wine and listening to 70`s tunes sung by a Jackson Browne clone. Not everybody liked the music as much as me, I love the Eagles so much!

It was the kind of day I needed to get through the next week. Both the husband and I found out we have permanent sinus infections that won`t leave, so we need mad antibiotics for a long, long, long , long time. I have to lead the breastfeeding meeting tomorrow and help the ladies and stay very alert for a long long time. Then on Saturday, more of my favorite, public speaking to strangers. Can't wait!

Everybody has new haircuts!
It`s a brisk day around here and the Creature and I went to the kindergarten and helped serve Thanksgiving dinner to a million 5 year olds. It was a lot of fun. more later....