Finally we went and stayed with my cousin and he husband, parents to be!
A trip to the zoo, a picnic in the park , it was fun...
Monday, March 26, 2007
South Carolina
Finally we went and stayed with my cousin and he husband, parents to be!
A trip to the zoo, a picnic in the park , it was fun...
Monday, March 19, 2007
Parenting little kids, solved.
*Treat your child like you'd want to be treated
*Take care of them in a way that teaches them the world is a safe place.
*Know what is developmentally normal so you can focus on the phrase "age-appropriate behaviour" to help you keep your sanity.
-sleep early & often & try to keep the play dates at cocktail hour where its easier on everyone.
*Take care of them in a way that teaches them the world is a safe place.
*Know what is developmentally normal so you can focus on the phrase "age-appropriate behaviour" to help you keep your sanity.
-sleep early & often & try to keep the play dates at cocktail hour where its easier on everyone.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Friday, March 02, 2007
What dogs we are, deep thoughts by a 7 year old
My 7 year old is a Border Collie, smart & a kind of sleeper breed, one that surprised everyone with its intelligence. My son is so busy thinking and doing, he can appear spacy-but there's a lot going on in there.
The Creature is a Jack Russell. Like all terriers he has a huge presence and absolutely no clue that he is little. Tenacious and obnoxious at times.
The Baby is an adorable baby bulldog, squishy, chubby, but built big & solid. Very mellow.
My darling spouse is a Presa Canario, as seen on a breeder's page: noble and kind with family, distrustful of strangers. Nice, but fierce.
I'm a Bernese Mountain Dog and here's the breed
temperament: "is self-confident, alert and good-natured, never sharp or shy. The Bernese Mountain Dog should stand steady, though may remain aloof to the attentions of strangers. " I wish, but the main thing is they have a long torso & short legs, like me, ha ha.
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Grateful
The very first glimpse of little Joaquin as he was born, via belly. I forgot to put this picture up back in August and now I'm celebrating that this little guy is 6 months already. What's a nice surgery photo among friends?
Its weird how little it bothers me that I have to have major surgery for birth. I came from the natural childbirth world where a c section is simply a failure to so many women. Honestly, when I lost my son and almost lost my own life from the trauma, it was when I truly became a real grown up. I was kind of spoiled and bossy before that. Having the opportunity to have more children is a huge gift I'll never take for granted. I'll take them no matter how they get out.
I believed in all the natural birth stuff so much, I still do, just not for me.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
What a weekend! Creature had to bring home a bear from school and I had to write all of the things the bear did down in a notebook that was already filled with the other kids adventures. The other kids did great stuff like go out to eat, go to museums,
and have dinner parties. Our weekend with the bear, Honey, was kind of rough. Creature didn't really care too much about him at first. No cocktail hour on Friday, too strenuous with husband working nights, so the other preschool mamas won't know about our social life, oh well...Then, Saturday night I caught the freaking rotavirus from visiting my Granny the week before. Teeny and I spent the night on the bathroom floor together so I could feed him between my visits to hell. Luckily, it was at my parents house, so the 2 older boys were well taken care of. 
Things are looking up. Teeny is mobile now and only the adults got sick this time. Slowly we are feeling better.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Present
One of the best ways to be happy staying at home is to live in the present. As much as I appreciate this opportunity to be with my kids, it is scary for me to think about how behind I am in terms of working again one day. I haven't made any effort to keep up with my field at all, in fact I want a whole new whole career. But most of the time, I really don't care, I stay in the present moment, I enjoy what I can and struggle through the hard parts, trying not to lose my mind. Today had been horrible, one tantrum after another from the Creature, nothing going my way. Now he's in preschool,(on his first field trip even!) and Teeny is asleep and I have a few minutes to myself. The whole day is not ruined, this moment is fine and I have no complaints.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Icy/Snowy days, home from school. It started out fun, it got ugly. Dirt was liberated from plants in the living room so the Creature's tiny green toy iguana could have a "dirt house". To finally get out we braved the ice to
eat Thai food and not one but 2 glasses of water and the flower vase were spilled. I try to stay ahead of the boyz with my domesticated cleaning self, but its so pointless. How can I be upset when the Creature gives me his best cheesy smile during breakfast & my Schoolboy is so sweet to little Teeny.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Monday, February 12, 2007
Grammy's
So last night, my dear husband fell asleep minutes after we started watching the Woody Allen movie Scoop, which I was happy to miss because I'm not a fan of ancient pedophiles.
The Grammys were on, and I switched to them instead. I enjoyed every performance so much! I loved Mary J Blige, I loved Aguliera, I loved Shakira. Even songs I don`t like sounded so good, I'm easy to please though, at this point in my life I just would love to go out and hear live music. I thought young Chris Brown was so over the top and so filled with off the hook-ness, he left every single person there with a smile on their face, pure fun. He is from VA and I could tell even though I had never heard of him before, he reminded me of the step dancers in Richmond, where I went to college. Here he is: http://www.chrisbrownweb.com/
The Grammys were on, and I switched to them instead. I enjoyed every performance so much! I loved Mary J Blige, I loved Aguliera, I loved Shakira. Even songs I don`t like sounded so good, I'm easy to please though, at this point in my life I just would love to go out and hear live music. I thought young Chris Brown was so over the top and so filled with off the hook-ness, he left every single person there with a smile on their face, pure fun. He is from VA and I could tell even though I had never heard of him before, he reminded me of the step dancers in Richmond, where I went to college. Here he is: http://www.chrisbrownweb.com/
Monday, February 05, 2007
Monday, January 29, 2007
Birthday party
Dancing and good times at a 7 year old birthday party.
I wish that was me on the dance floor, but that`s little teeny`s godmother and she had all of the 13 kids out there shakin it.
Quote of the day
"I think there's a real resistance in this culture to caring for children," Commons said. But "punishment and abandonment has never been a good way to get warm, caring, independent people."
Here`s more news about why its better to be responsive to babies instead of leaving them alone to cry, I guess common sense has have studies to back it up too these days :)
Children Need Touching and Attention, Harvard Researchers Say
By Alvin Powell
Contributing Writer
America's "let them cry" attitude toward children may lead to more fears and tears among adults, according to two Harvard Medical School researchers.
Instead of letting infants cry, American parents should keep their babies close, console them when they cry, and bring them to bed with them, where they'll feel safe, according to Michael L. Commons and Patrice M. Miller, researchers at the Medical School's Department of Psychiatry.
The pair examined childrearing practices here and in other cultures and say the widespread American practice of putting babies in separate beds -- even separate rooms -- and not responding quickly to their cries may lead to incidents of post-traumatic stress and panic disorders when these children reach adulthood.
The early stress resulting from separation causes changes in infant brains that makes future adults more susceptible to stress in their lives, say Commons and Miller.
"Parents should recognize that having their babies cry unnecessarily harms the baby permanently," Commons said. "It changes the nervous system so they're overly sensitive to future trauma."
The Harvard researchers' work is unique because it takes a cross-disciplinary approach, examining brain function, emotional learning in infants, and cultural differences, according to Charles R. Figley, director of the Traumatology Institute at Florida State University and editor of The Journal of Traumatology.
"It is very unusual but extremely important to find this kind of interdisciplinary and multidisciplinary research report," Figley said. "It accounts for cross-cultural differences in children's emotional response and their ability to cope with stress, including traumatic stress."
Figley said Commons and Miller's work illuminates a route of further study and could have implications for everything from parents' efforts to intellectually stimulate infants to practices such as circumcision.
Commons has been a lecturer and research associate at the Medical School's Department of Psychiatry since 1987 and is a member of the Department's Program in Psychiatry and the Law.
Miller has been a research associate at the School's Program in Psychiatry and the Law since 1994 and an assistant professor of psychology at Salem State College since 1993. She received master's and doctorate degrees in human development from the Graduate School of Education.
The pair say that American childrearing practices are influenced by fears that children will grow up dependent. But they say that parents are on the wrong track: physical contact and reassurance will make children more secure and better able to form adult relationships when they finally head out on their own.
"We've stressed independence so much that it's having some very negative side effects," Miller said.
The two gained the spotlight in February when they presented their ideas at the American Association for the Advancement of Science's annual meeting in Philadelphia.
Commons and Miller, using data Miller had worked on that was compiled by Robert A. LeVine, Roy Edward Larsen Professor of Education and Human Development, contrasted American childrearing practices with those of other cultures, particularly the Gusii people of Kenya. Gusii mothers sleep with their babies and respond rapidly when the baby cries.
"Gusii mothers watching videotapes of U.S. mothers were upset by how long it took these mothers to respond to infant crying," Commons and Miller said in their paper on the subject.
The way we are brought up colors our entire society, Commons and Miller say. Americans in general don't like to be touched and pride themselves on independence to the point of isolation, even when undergoing a difficult or stressful time.
Despite the conventional wisdom that babies should learn to be alone, Miller said she believes many parents "cheat," keeping the baby in the room with them, at least initially. In addition, once the child can crawl around, she believes many find their way into their parents' room on their own.
American parents shouldn't worry about this behavior or be afraid to baby their babies, Commons and Miller said. Parents should feel free to sleep with their infant children, to keep their toddlers nearby, perhaps on a mattress in the same room, and to comfort a baby when it cries.
"There are ways to grow up and be independent without putting babies through this trauma," Commons said. "My advice is to keep the kids secure so they can grow up and take some risks."
Besides fears of dependence, the pair said other factors have helped form our childrearing practices, including fears that children would interfere with sex if they shared their parents' room and doctors' concerns that a baby would be injured by a parent rolling on it if the parent and baby shared the bed. Additionally, the nation's growing wealth has helped the trend toward separation by giving families the means to buy larger homes with separate rooms for children.
The result, Commons and Miller said, is a nation that doesn't like caring for its own children, a violent nation marked by loose, nonphysical relationships.
"I think there's a real resistance in this culture to caring for children," Commons said. But "punishment and abandonment has never been a good way to get warm, caring, independent people
Here`s more news about why its better to be responsive to babies instead of leaving them alone to cry, I guess common sense has have studies to back it up too these days :)
Children Need Touching and Attention, Harvard Researchers Say
By Alvin Powell
Contributing Writer
America's "let them cry" attitude toward children may lead to more fears and tears among adults, according to two Harvard Medical School researchers.
Instead of letting infants cry, American parents should keep their babies close, console them when they cry, and bring them to bed with them, where they'll feel safe, according to Michael L. Commons and Patrice M. Miller, researchers at the Medical School's Department of Psychiatry.
The pair examined childrearing practices here and in other cultures and say the widespread American practice of putting babies in separate beds -- even separate rooms -- and not responding quickly to their cries may lead to incidents of post-traumatic stress and panic disorders when these children reach adulthood.
The early stress resulting from separation causes changes in infant brains that makes future adults more susceptible to stress in their lives, say Commons and Miller.
"Parents should recognize that having their babies cry unnecessarily harms the baby permanently," Commons said. "It changes the nervous system so they're overly sensitive to future trauma."
The Harvard researchers' work is unique because it takes a cross-disciplinary approach, examining brain function, emotional learning in infants, and cultural differences, according to Charles R. Figley, director of the Traumatology Institute at Florida State University and editor of The Journal of Traumatology.
"It is very unusual but extremely important to find this kind of interdisciplinary and multidisciplinary research report," Figley said. "It accounts for cross-cultural differences in children's emotional response and their ability to cope with stress, including traumatic stress."
Figley said Commons and Miller's work illuminates a route of further study and could have implications for everything from parents' efforts to intellectually stimulate infants to practices such as circumcision.
Commons has been a lecturer and research associate at the Medical School's Department of Psychiatry since 1987 and is a member of the Department's Program in Psychiatry and the Law.
Miller has been a research associate at the School's Program in Psychiatry and the Law since 1994 and an assistant professor of psychology at Salem State College since 1993. She received master's and doctorate degrees in human development from the Graduate School of Education.
The pair say that American childrearing practices are influenced by fears that children will grow up dependent. But they say that parents are on the wrong track: physical contact and reassurance will make children more secure and better able to form adult relationships when they finally head out on their own.
"We've stressed independence so much that it's having some very negative side effects," Miller said.
The two gained the spotlight in February when they presented their ideas at the American Association for the Advancement of Science's annual meeting in Philadelphia.
Commons and Miller, using data Miller had worked on that was compiled by Robert A. LeVine, Roy Edward Larsen Professor of Education and Human Development, contrasted American childrearing practices with those of other cultures, particularly the Gusii people of Kenya. Gusii mothers sleep with their babies and respond rapidly when the baby cries.
"Gusii mothers watching videotapes of U.S. mothers were upset by how long it took these mothers to respond to infant crying," Commons and Miller said in their paper on the subject.
The way we are brought up colors our entire society, Commons and Miller say. Americans in general don't like to be touched and pride themselves on independence to the point of isolation, even when undergoing a difficult or stressful time.
Despite the conventional wisdom that babies should learn to be alone, Miller said she believes many parents "cheat," keeping the baby in the room with them, at least initially. In addition, once the child can crawl around, she believes many find their way into their parents' room on their own.
American parents shouldn't worry about this behavior or be afraid to baby their babies, Commons and Miller said. Parents should feel free to sleep with their infant children, to keep their toddlers nearby, perhaps on a mattress in the same room, and to comfort a baby when it cries.
"There are ways to grow up and be independent without putting babies through this trauma," Commons said. "My advice is to keep the kids secure so they can grow up and take some risks."
Besides fears of dependence, the pair said other factors have helped form our childrearing practices, including fears that children would interfere with sex if they shared their parents' room and doctors' concerns that a baby would be injured by a parent rolling on it if the parent and baby shared the bed. Additionally, the nation's growing wealth has helped the trend toward separation by giving families the means to buy larger homes with separate rooms for children.
The result, Commons and Miller said, is a nation that doesn't like caring for its own children, a violent nation marked by loose, nonphysical relationships.
"I think there's a real resistance in this culture to caring for children," Commons said. But "punishment and abandonment has never been a good way to get warm, caring, independent people
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Weekend
I don`t want it to end. After a Special Edition Cocktail Hour for kids & grown ups in honor of my son`s birthday, we got up and went to the city to take the boyz to the Air & Space museum. We also saw the Natl Gallery & the New Native museum. It was nice, our parking spot was off the hook-directly across the street from Air & Space. I actually find that museum relentlessly boring, but it is cool for kids. And they saw their first Imax movie. Why did the baby like it the most?
Then today, cold & snowy and sledding. No complaints around here.
Friday, January 19, 2007
Seven
My oldest boy turns 7 today!
Here he is dancing at a friend`s house, his new favorite activity and he does it so well with that straight Sprockets style expression on his face.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
january
Out in the warm days of last weekend at a bald eagle sanctuary near us with my friendliest neighbor. Then, my goal for the day was accomplished after 6 tries-wearing the baby on my back in a sheet, South American style.
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About Me
- clara
- I'm just a mom in the world. A crunchy Catholic mama of 6 trying to make sense of it all and stay positive. 5 boys here & 1 in heaven. One awesome man who I get to grow old with. I help new moms breastfeed. I`m happy. I don`t go to shows or dance clubs every night but I would if I could. Where`s the nanny? When I see her she`s SO fired! One of my boys is super sweet and sensitive, another one is a holy terror. I learn a ton from all of them daily. Like Nigella says, as any parent of small children knows,there comes a point in the day where you can`t go any further without a drink! I love cocktail hour. I`d like nothing more than to be with my family and some good friends surrounded by tropical plants drinking a margarita listening to the Eagles. I don`t care about trendy, I like that grungy 70`s vibe.